Tag Archives: Veronica Rose

We’re WASP’s. It’s What We Do.

12 Oct

This should infuriate many….not that it will, but it SHOULD.

When the Capobiancos set out to adopt Veronica one of their strategies was to strike down the ICWA or the Indian Child Welfare Act. I won’t bother you with a long explanation of this law. By now most of us have come to understand it’s purpose and the reasoning behind it.  But basically, it’s meant to protect Indian families and their children when it comes to adoption.  The Capobiancos logic behind their campaign to destroy this law seemed somewhat reasonable in theory. It was that they wanted to open up adoption and make it racially blind. They wanted adoptions to have no basis on race whatsoever. And they saw the Indian Child Welfare Act as giving racial preference to Indians and therefore, racist. I don’t agree but I can see that there was some logic there.

You see, it was Veronica they wanted so they formed a strategy.  The ICWA was only a hurdle in their path.  It wasn’t that this particular issue mattered to them but it was the thing they had to get past to get Veronica. Prior to, they probably hadn’t even heard of this law. But given it got in their way now, they had to set up a game plan. That game plan was to destroy the law. They didn’t care about the law or the people it was meant to protect. They didn’t even care what it’s intent was. They only cared that it was in their way with respect to their goal in that moment.  So they set out to destroy it to get Veronica and came up with the whole ‘it’s racist’ mantra later.  They came up with all the reasons for destroying it later to look as if they were truly being selfless. It didn’t matter whether they believed or supported their own hype. It was just what needed to be said to get there. They were like Kardashians advertising for QuickTrim. They didn’t need to buy their own product. That product didn’t even need to work. They didn’t need to believe it in. They just needed it to sell. They needed people to buy into their propaganda and support them in striking down parts of the ICWA so they could win.

The Cappobiancos chipped away at the ICWA not because they believed in their fight or because it should have been done. They did it for no other reason than they could. And now they raise the Indian child whose culture they’ve helped to destroy.

And after they won, Jessica Munday, their spokesperson, issued the following to their supporters:

While Congress has yet to amend the ICWA, our collective effort surrounding Veronica’s case will indeed help ensure this situation will not happen to another child. As a matter of fact, it already has. We have been informed her case has already been used in several cases to block similar travesties from occurring…. If anyone would like to continue advocating for children being hurt by the ICWA, please connect with the following groups.

Christian Alliance for Indian Child Welfare
administrator@caicw.org

Home Forever
info@home-4-ever.org

Coalition for the protection of Indian Children and Families
info@coalitionforindianchildren.org

(courtesy of The Daily Bastardette)

So you see, Munday, their spokesperson,  is now saying to supporters ‘Well folks, it’s been nice but we’ve done our job. We couldn’t care less about this. Find somewhere else to take your issues to. We’re done here. Go join up with someone else who wants to help you destroy ICWA now.’ Or the short form: ‘We’re done. Go scratch.’

It wasn’t that this issue itself mattered. The ICWA didn’t matter. Indians didn’t matter. Their plight didn’t matter. Even if the law was destroyed completely, it didn’t matter. Getting to keep Veronica was all that mattered. And if, after that happened, everything else crumbled and the world stopped turning, that just didn’t matter. So we, whether in support of Native Americans and the ICWA or not, are left to pick up the pieces and suffer the consequences. Whether you supported Brown or the Capobiancos, what’s left is the result of what they’ve done.  And that should infuriate you. Whether you fought to strengthen the law or tear is apart, your fight wasn’t even recognized because some couple who it mattered nothing to swept in, did their damage and ran.

We are left with a precedent here that tells other women that if they can hold out long enough, cut off all access to the child and never answer a door or accept any support, they too can thwart the father and shuffle his child off for adoption without his consent. And this case will be used as precedence both with respect to Native fathers and to all fathers. Women can now lawfully ‘Maldonado’ the fathers right out of their children.  (Yes, Maldonado has now become a verb.)

If you didn’t support the law and wanted it dismantled, you worked with a couple whose heart wasn’t in the fight with you. They climbed up your back and trampled your heads as they stood on top of you as their platform then they took their prize and ran. They used you to make themselves more visible and their voices louder but they cared nothing for you, your fight or any of the related legislation.

*WASP: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Anglo-Saxon_Protestant

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The House That Bought Likes Built

11 Oct

As a skeptic, one would think they’d just about seen it all and that almost nothing could hold any real shock value anymore.  …And then one turns their attention back to the ‘Baby Veronica’ saga.

By now the intentional misrepresentation of this case by the Capobianco camp comes as no surprise to most but there are just so many details that still keep rising to the surface of the muck that has been their adoption campaign.

In surfing the web the other day, we noticed Facebook had added a feature. WHEN that was added we don’t know but it caught our eye. We knew rumors were rampant regarding the Capobianco’s page (Save Veronica Rose) and their ‘buying likes’.  What is ‘buying likes’ you ask.  For those who run pages on social media sites, the number of people who like a page speaks to the page’s popularity and reach.  And in much the same way the latest craze catches on, if one sees that their friends or a lot of people like something, they want to be part of that, they want to like it too and see what it’s about. So as a page administrator the more likes you have, the more likes you attract.  To have very few likes is almost the kiss of death to a page on Facebook. So a page administrator can go to any number of services that will net you hundreds or thousands of likes for a fee. Now these ‘likes’ though will usually come from fake accounts and from foreign countries (that being the dead giveaway).

So as we surfed the net, as we said, we noticed this feature and there it was……

SVRlikes

the dead giveaway. You see, we’d been led to believe that the public at large supported the Capobiancos in their fight for Veronica.  And those who supported Brown in this often wondered what others saw that maybe they weren’t seeing.  In their minds, they knew the thought of taking this child from her biological parents and giving her to some adoptive couple simply because that couple felt they wanted her more was just reprehensible.

And as the weeks wore on, the pages seemed to be neck and neck in the race to ‘save’ Veronica. With the Save Veronica Rose page having opened in December of 2011 and the Standing Our Ground For Veronica Brown page only having opened in July 2013, it seemed the SOG page would soon surpass the SVR page. But every time, right as that seemed inevitable, the number of likes on SVR would suddenly shoot through the roof again.  And as one attentive follower said, “their likes seemed to come in at odd hours of the night and from some pretty odd names.”

And come to find out, it WAS all a sham. There weren’t thousands of people who liked their page and agreed with their views. There were just plenty of fake profiles and bought numbers who boosted their ranks.

If their ‘likes’ had been authentic, their most popular city likely would have been Charleston, SC seeing that is where the Capobiancos are from and where their support base originated.  You see this is true when you then compare their info to the SOG page supporting Brown whose support base came primarily from his home state of Oklahoma and from Native Americans.  Their most popular city then was Tulsa, OK as would be expected. But Istanbul? Could that even possibly be real? A quick search of the topic of Baby Veronica doesn’t even return results in Istanbul. One can see articles about vacationing there or car seats for babies in Istanbul taxis and other equally mundane topics but this case never even dotted the radar there making the fact that it’s the SVR page’s most popular city even more ridiculous.

SOGlikes

It really makes one wonder, if they lied about this, and they lied about so much of this story, then what else were we lied to about?

We were told they’d adopted this girl and Brown, who’d abandoned her even before birth was using some technicality to get her back. We were told he’d waited two years to even step forward. Well, we now know from Judge Malphrus’ ruling in 2011 that Brown was never found to have abandoned his daughter.  We also know that until it was just recently finalized, they’d never even adopted her, that they were only attempting to adopt her. We know Veronica was placed with them by Maldonado, her bio mother,  and they had been warned she was an at risk placement meaning they knew their adoption may well never go through if the birth father stepped forward. We know Brown was never told where his daughter was. We know he stepped forward to get custody of her the moment he knew of the adoption and her whereabouts. (One can read of more inconsistencies here and here.)

But it leads us to wonder, if one builds their foundation on lies, builds up a house of cards if you will, can they really prevail? We’d all like to think ideally that justice will prevail in the end but was that the case here? Or, with the foundation of this all being lies backed by loads of money and lifted off the ground by a woman who was rather savvy with marketing, further bolstered by political ties and helped along by the couple’s socioeconomic and racial background, was this a losing battle for Brown and his supporters from the start? Can one really buy their way through life?

The answer is yes.  An attorney best summed the problem up with ‘Truth is irrelevant. He who has the better story wins.’

Many couples wait years to adopt. Many still aren’t successful and find themselves having had several adoptions ‘fall through’. And many similar cases wait months if not years between hearings to determine their fate. But not the Capobiancos. No sir! They netted a baby on the first try (IVF attempts excluded and speaking strictly on adoption). They were given front row seats to her birth, a moment Maldonado denied Brown.  The ICPC approval was rushed right through allowing them to take her home. They didn’t worry about those pesky details like if her father spent sleepless nights wondering about her or not. And then when he came calling for his child, they bought the best defense money could buy. They chipped away at laws protecting endangered cultures and minorities. They even looked good doing it claiming they were wanting equal rights for all in adoptionland rather than saying they were simply trying to open up yet another market for adoptable children. They got a pretty good deal as these things go too. They were able to buy themselves the attention of a couple of the Supreme Court justices by retaining those attorneys who were on an elbow-rubbing basis with the justices.

So where does all that leave us now? Where that leaves us now is that the Capobiancos have been successful at destroying Native protections, in destroying any idea of fairness we had left, of destroying any notion of justice we had left and any faith we had in our justice system. It’s shown other couples they too can do the same, they too can have their pick of the litter regardless of whether or not the bio parents want to keep their children for themselves.  In fact, they’ve destroyed the idea that a bio parent has a right to raise their own child. They’ve drawn up the blueprint for cases to come.  And while some may say that is exaggerating things a bit, I’d challenge them.  One need only to look to the case of Baby Deserai to see how accurate that statement is. With an Oklahoma ruling already in place calling for Desirai’s return, the 60’s something Bixlers of SC refuse to return her. They’ve continued to move forward with their adoption there despite a loving biological family who want her and despite the fraudulent nature by which they obtained her.  Soon the state of South Carolina will begin to throw their weight around and they’ll claim they’re the only authority with regard to her case as well.

For more on the Baby Desirai case, go to https://www.facebook.com/StandingOurGroundforDesirai

UPDATE: These people change faster than we can keep up with. After reporting their bought likes here, immediately their page changed to this….

svrlikeedit

We can’t explain how they made the sudden change but we’ve noted it regardless. However, we’ve also noticed that the number of people talking about their page went down as well. There has certainly been some fast doctoring happening. Maybe Mr. Caricofe has been able to show them a few tricks given he is the resident computer guru there at Munday’s Trio Solutions. Or it could simply be that they’ve changed the home city on most of the fake accounts liking the page to Charleston, South Carolina.

Godspeed Little Star

26 Sep

News spread like wildfire. By now, we all know, the Oklahoma Supreme Court lifted the stay in the case of Brown V. DeLapp (although many of you may know it better as Adoptive Couple V. Baby Girl). On Monday, the OKSC lifted their stay at approximately 2:30 pm. By 7:30, Veronica was gone. Officials went to the Jack Brown house at the Cherokee Nation complex and removed her. She was escorted away by Ms. Nimmo, attorney for the Cherokee Nation,  who with heavy heart had to deliver Veronica to the adoptive couple waiting at tribal headquarters. As she was taken away from her family, her cry rang out….. “No, I don’t want to go! I don’t want to go! I don’t want to go!” It fell on deaf ears. There was nothing that could be done.

In physically coming to Oklahoma, the Capobiancos forced the spotlight on this child. They got preferential treatment in that, because of the media storm they’d created, their coming to the state caused this case to be given priority with the attention of the Governors of both states.  Media outlets were literally drooling over the chance to report every detail. Often cases of this nature die a slow death in our court systems. They lie there for months and sometimes years between hearings while a child hangs in the balance despite urgent concerns regarding their welfare. Each side is given the opportunity during the down time to mount a defense. Mr. Brown nor Veronica was given this chance. This couple cared only for claiming their prize and quickly. With each hearing came a flood of photos, speculation and the constant reminder from Mrs. Capobianco that precious time and money were being lost and ‘could we hurry this up please.’ No other case of this nature has been given this type of preferential treatment with the adoptive couple being catered to and given hearings and appearances almost daily.

They don’t tell you the Capobiancos had no incentive to mediate. The judge’s statement read that both parties negotiated in good faith. They don’t tell you the details of those negotiations though. They don’t say that while the couple publicly stated they want everyone to play a part in Veronica’s life, privately they reneged on offers and offered little to nothing. They don’t say that to have the father in Veronica’s life is their constant reminder that this child isn’t totally theirs. They don’t say their actions have spoken volumes and they sought to sever any and all ties between her and her father.

We didn’t realize Mr. Brown had no chance. We didn’t realize the media was so skewed. With CNN on their side (Adoptive Couple’s forces having befriended many at the network) and leading their charge, many in the country were spoon fed details that were outright deceptive. With pressure from both Governor’s and threats of jail time, it seems that the couple were willing to stop at nothing short of destroying Mr. Brown’s life. Not happy with simply taking his child, they now sue for attorney’s fees and fines. And while initiated by the courts on their behalf supposedly, Adoptive Couple has yet to speak out and ask that the war be ended, charges be dropped or that their supporters stop harassing the Browns.

The public was led to believe despite all facts that Veronica would somehow remember this couple. We were shown pictures of a happy, smiling Veronica and told she DID remember them. What we weren’t told was that these pictures were taken after weeks of visitation involving many gifts given and that the child, while not remembering them, had gotten to know them. We weren’t told these visits were within the setting of a familiar play space to Veronica and that she viewed these visits as simply play dates knowing she went home to mommy and daddy in the end. We also weren’t told what Veronica’s reaction was to them once she had time to go home each night and process the whole situation in her own mind, what she may have told friends or teachers about them, or what she felt about them in general. Getting to know and remembering are two far different things.  While no one doubts the Capobiancos will care for Veronica, their need to paint their relationship with her as natural and somehow destined by twisting the facts is questionable.

But the sad reality is that Veronica is gone and the damage will forever be irreparable. You see, at birth to two, a child is developing but their long term memory isn’t yet there. They are more concerned with their needs being met and react primarily to discomfort. At the age Veronica lived with her father, by four, her memory develops. She grew to know Mr. Brown as her natural born father and his wife as her mother. Her world expanded to relationships and she began to take in her surroundings. To her, real or imagined, these two are her psychological parents.  She will always remember them now that she’s had time to bond with them.  She will always know them as her ‘real’ mom and dad. Anyone else is merely a substitution with her hopes continuing the rest of her life to find answers as to where they went and what happened to them. No answer provided by anyone else will suffice. She will need to seek her own answers to be sure of their truth.

And it’s that desperate need to paint this bond as something shared between both them and the child as something natural and destined that concerns many. Veronica didn’t share this bond. This bond was entirely one sided. It was born from the Capobiancos desire for children, a desire so strong they fooled their own minds into imagining if only they could obtain her, the bond and feelings would surely be reciprocated.  And if not immediately reciprocated then they could be nurtured over time using Melanie’s knowledge of psychology , manipulating in order to create a bond.

Having feelings of maternal urgency or an urge to mother is far different than maternal instinct. Maternal instinct is a need to protect. Maternal urgency is the desperate feeling one’s biological clock is ticking. The desire here to be a parent so overwhelmed rational thought. Because if Melanie had maternal instinct, that instinct would have said Veronica was with a loving and fit bio father who wanted her. It would have told them they would damage her if they tampered with it. It would have driven them to protect her even at the cost of their loss.  Who did what when, claims of abandonment,  who had her first, none of that will ever matter later. Her age or how many years she spent with either won’t matter. She could have been 6 or 10 or even 13 when they took her. It doesn’t matter if she spent two years or one summer with her father. But she now knows another set of parents exist, a biological parent is out there waiting for her. You cannot put the genie back in the bottle.  What will matter is she got to know them at an age that she will remember them and that they were taken from her for reasons short of severe. There was no abuse. There was no neglect.  And anything short of that will never be justifiable in her mind as she grows.

We know Matt and Melanie will care for her. We know they’ll provide her with all they can in life. She’ll have the best. We know they love her. But while that’s wonderful and kind, she will be an empty shell. She will wait for her day. She will have nagging questions. And even if she is led to believe her father was a axe murderer, she will have a pride in being his daughter throughout it all. She will wait for the day when she can reconnect to him. To slander his name will fuel her determination. To make no mention of him at all will peak her curiosity. It’s one game that no one can win because despite what you say, she will have her own feelings on the issue. You see, Veronica IS Dusten Brown. She is the living, breathing extension of her father. And by trying to sever that bond, they’ve only made it stronger and more urgent. They will make her more determined.  They will forever have to buy her love while all the while she quietly waits until the day she can get her answers and find her roots. She won’t outwardly say that. She’ll harbor that within herself for fear of hurting their feelings or making them feel she is ungrateful for her beautiful life but those feelings will quietly be there.  Until one day, one day she will Google her name. Or she’ll wonder what happened to those other parents she remembers. Her mind will lead her home.

Despite it all, she will remember she is Veronica Brown from ‘Nowater, Okahoma’.

And because there is no word for goodbye in the Cherokee language, the Cherokee Nation, family and supporters all say dodadagohv’I – we will see each other again.  Veronica will look to that road one day. One day she will hear the beat of the drum. One day she will come home and her parents will see her again.

We wish you Godspeed Little Star.  You get big and strong and we will wait for as long as it takes. All roads lead to home.

theroadhome